whats your dad joke? How corny are you?!😜😂👍

I'll start, what do they call a bed-pan in Russia? A Pu-tin....get it?👀🤣😂🤣That joke is curtesy of Pat Mac👍

People are always shocked when they find out that Im a bad electrician...😂😂

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. I grounded him until he can conduct himself properly. He was shocked.

Why was the stadium so hot after the game? Because all the fans left.

RIP boiling water, you will be mist.

Military Dad Jokes-

What do you call a Marines with an IQ of 160? – A Platoon

What Do You Call a Soldier Who Survived Mustard Gas and Pepper Spray? – A Seasoned Veteran

What happens when 30 sailors go down in a submarine? - 15 couples come up

How does the Air Force Play Bingo? - B-52, F-16, A-10..

What do Marines have in common with other members of the Armed Forces? - They all originally wanted to become Marines for their dress blues

What part of the military accepts newborns? - The infantry.

How do two Navy Admirals greet each other? - A NAVAL Salute.

I got plenty more.... lol

Why is yogurt fancy?- Because it's cultured.

Why are grizzlies light on their feet? - Because they only carry the bear necessities.

About 200 dead crows were found recently in West Texas and there was concern for Avian Flu. The local government had a Bird Pathologist examine the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by cars. They then hired a Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill.
The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out Crow" in a nearby tree, to warn of impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Caw Caw", but he could not say "Truck Truck."

Did you read the news paper this morning?... at the local gas station a women spilled gas on her shirt sleeve and when she got in the car she lit up a cigarette and her arm caught on fire. She didn't know what to do so she stuck her flaming arm out the window hoping the wind would put it out. A police office saw her and pulled her over and helped put it out. The lady was fine but the office gave her a ticket......("pause" everyone will say what?!) Yep for waving a fire arm. :) Your Welcome

"Close but no fish. You know, no sea gar?"

If a crow is overweight, might you say it is corvidly obese?

A fish runs into a wall and says, "Dam!"

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire place is a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

I make dad jokes but have no kids. I'm a faux pa.

The best time for a dental appointment is 2:30...

People think I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop anytime...

If I would only start doing lunges when I exercise, it would be a big step forward in my fitness...

If two vegans get into an argument, is it still called a beef?